Story
Our Story: We have lost quite a few members of our family to Cancer, it started when I was 7 and we lost our Grandad to it. At that age I didn’t really understand what Cancer was I just knew he had it and had died. 2010 we sadly lost my Nan to Cancer, my Nan was a very strong lady and I never imagined her dying but in the July we sadly lost Nan and it broke our Mum. Mum never really recovered from it, I never really understood the pain she was going through at the time until 2018. 2018 came I knew something wasn’t 100% but pushed any thoughts I had out of my head. This is a bad thing to do so if you ever suspect anything please go and get checked straight away. The doctors have seen everything so really don’t be shy or embarrassed just go it could save your life.2018 started with a visit to the dentist in the January, followed by a referral to the Ashford hospital first week of February to be told then and there without any biopsies needed you have cancer of the mouth. My world collapsed around me that day, the words I never expected to be uttered from the Doctors mouth but knew they probably would be uttered at the same time. Mum went through the scans a week later to see if it had spread. I remember hearing it’s contained in your mouth and the relief I felt. I remember us all thinking wow good news she will be ok. The weekly visits started, we were sent to the royal Surrey hospital to see a doctor who could possibly remove the tumour with surgery. The world was pulled from under us when he said it’s too big to remove we can’t operate and to hear something like that was heartbreaking but for my Mum that must have been awful. Mum being Mum was trying to comfort us. We then met with other Doctors who discussed treatment therapy such as chemo and radiotherapy. We had some hope again. I remember us reassuring Mum in the car it would be ok. Now this is why I say if you suspect anything please go doctors don’t leave it. Weekly visits turned into daily visits as the treatment started. I remember my Mum feeling sorry that the treatment had started around my Birthday week, but I didn’t care seeing her have treatment was hope for me. Hope Mum may have a chance to live. It kicked off with Radiotherapy and every Thursday was Chemo day. My work was lovely and let me have every Thursday off to sit with Mum from literally 7am - 4pm. Chemo started early and so many different bags to get through. I think it went fluids, chemo fluids I think. We would sit there and just chat or play games or knit. The hospital had only really made it available for one person to sit with the patient and as I worked the closest to home and drove I took on role as main Carer role should I need to rush back in an emergency as my work was only 10mins away from home. The treatment was for 6 weeks, everyday but I think if I remember we got some weekend off. I only attended chemo day and Mum had Dad and sometimes Tan when she could get out of work for the rest of the week treatment. Mum completed treatment as was given her face mask which is what they mould for you prior to radiotherapy treatment. You wear it during the treatment to help protect you. I remember mum hugging the nurses and thanking them. Mum had done to well and was so brave throughout. For a few weeks I remember mum feeling no pain it was lovely to see her so happy. Then the pain started :( The appointments and checks started up again. I drove to one in particular as I was the only one who could get that day off, first time driving on the motorway with Mum and I was scared. We got there and I remember feeling nervous. I always felt nervous all the time at these things I don’t really enjoy going to hospital but who does. We sat down and the Doctor felt inside Mum’s mouth and the dreaded words came out the Cancer is still there I can feel it. It took everything for me to hold it together and not cry but I ended up crying on the phone to Dad telling him. I felt bad crying as Mum could see and she cried too. To hold it in would not have been good either though. I have blocked out what happened after, but I remember the last visit I attended we sat in the room and the doctor confirmed cancer was still there. The nurse even cried. Then I knew it was bad.... Mum was very loved by the nursing staff. They loved also seeing the love we had for her. Some people go to visits alone which I felt heartbroken for them but it might have been choice, we always went to visits in a pack virtually all 4 of us. I was due to go on holiday and I told my Mum I won’t go as I need to be at home. Mum told me I need to go otherwise she would be angry. I knew if I went she would feel like everything was ok and I wasn’t staying in case she died if you know what I mean. I left on a flight to Dominican Republic, I felt sick leaving but she kept saying please go you need to go. I checked in every day to face time her and see how she was. I remember chatting to mum on my balcony for 20mins or so it was the longest and last proper conversation I had with her that I understood. Mum’s speech after that deteriorated and it was hard to understand what Mum was saying. I flew home it was 27th July 2018 and I felt scared as I was hoping Mum had not got worse. We spent the day together and then tan was coming around the next day to see Mum and spend time with her. 28th July I went to Jaz’s as Mum liked routine and didn’t want us to stop living otherwise she would feel even more sicker if you know what I mean. I came home 29th it was a Sunday we again spent the day together but I knew Mum wasn’t too great. That night was a bad night for sleep. I remember thinking I have work the next day how am I ever going to get through a day of work with jet lag and worrying about Mum. 30th July - I made the call I wouldn’t be going to work Mum wasn’t right and we needed to get her to hospital. Dad picked up Tanya and I got Mum ready. We walked out to get in the car to go to the hospital but Mum didn’t make it to the car instead she collapsed in my Sister’s arms outside. Mum sadly passed away and I wish when I had wondered if she had Cancer that I had marched her sooner up to that hospital instead of feeling scared of hearing she had cancer. So I am walking, jogging and running for my Mum this time and for all the ladies and gentleman who have sadly passed away from Cancer due to not being able to receive treatment quick enough in the crazy 2020 and 2021 years we have had so far. I thank my lucky stars that Mum didn’t get sick in 2020 as to have to wait to have treatment due to COVID and then not be able to see people in case catching COVID as immune system would be low would have been awful. I’m thankful for the treatment Mum received it gave us 6 months and we did so much in them Months quite a lot of bonding. We didn’t cry too much we just laughed a lot with mum and made them very happy days. That’s our story some of you may have heard snippets, some of you may have walked with us part of the way or the full way. Some might have known but just reading it now. Help us raise our £500 I know for a fact my Mum will be walking with us every step of the way on 24th April 2021. Thank you all for reading so sorry that it’s a long story but I hope this helps anyone who is scared to please get checked you could save your own life or those around you.