Paul's Race for Life

My Story

Dear All, On 3 May I am doing a 5K Race for Life for Cancer Research UK. I am hoping to raise £9,000 - more if at all possible. As some may know, my wife, Tracey, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2020. I have seen first hand what a truly horrendous and destructive ordeal cancer is for anyone who has to go through it - physically, mentally and emotionally. Nothing can prepare you for the sledgehammer of being told you have cancer, for the gruelling journey of surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, for the uncertainty of whether you will live or die, for the knowledge that even if you do get through it, it can always return. For the white knuckle ride of unexplained aches that could signal that it has returned and the nail biting tests that will then determine your fate. Nothing can prepare you for the permanent and debilitating cocktail of drugs that you’re put on to try to keep it at bay, for the permanent and debilitating pain, for the permanent and debilitating fatigue, for the permanent and debilitating fear. For the numbing reality that it is not someone else’s story - it’s yours. I watch the Great British Bake Off Stand Up to Cancer and the stories are truly unbearable - young people apparently healthy one week, then diagnosed and dead the next; young couples whose hopes and dreams for the future have been ripped apart by a devastating diagnosis; little children with brave, scared, unknowing faces, surrounded by their desperate parents and cuddly toys, going through the ravages of chemotherapy - and it then not working. They will not see secondary school. It moves me to tears. I urge you to watch. These are all real stories. It reminds that cancer is not about numbers or percentages or sweeping statements about how awful it is; it is about individuals. Real people whose lives are torn apart - and all too often ended. Shortly after I arrived at Ampleforth, the wife of a very dear friend of mine passed away from cancer. Ten years ago a very close friend of mine who worked at Ampleforth died of cancer. Last year my sister was diagnosed. Tracey has it. I just feel I have to do something. I know that 5K may not seem much to some, but it is for me. Since an incident when I was 21 in which my left calf muscle was sliced in half I have not been able to run without pain. Even walking is painful. So 5K will really push me. I may have to walk part of it and my time will be in hours rather than minutes, but my commitment is to push myself as hard as I can and to finish. I may finish last, but I will finish further ahead than had I not entered. I will finish with this – when Tracey was diagnosed, there were lots of tears. We were told that it was not good. However, we were also told that thanks to research over the last twenty years, there was hope; that survival rates were now much higher than they were. It was research that saved Tracey, at least for now. Without research, she wouldn’t be here. That's why I am doing this. I have learnt that, with cancer, the two things that people need most are support and hope - I hope that me doing this, with your support, will provide a little bit more of both. Thank you for reading this and thank you so much in advance for any donations you may be able to give (via the Giving page). Please do give if you can. With grateful thanks, Paul