Our lives may have been put on hold at the moment, but cancer hasn't stopped.
On 26 October 2017, mine and my family’s world was turned upside down. We received the news that we had been dreading to hear that our beautiful Katie had passed away in the early hours of the morning. Kate was a massive part of my life and fulfilled the role of being like a second parent to me when my father died when I was one. Every sports day, school play, birthdays etc she and my mum would be there. I remember back in 2008, Kate had given birth to her baby boy when she found a lump in her boob. It turned out to be breast cancer. She fought so bravely and she managed to beat cancer and get the five year clear. However fast forward two years and she was back in the consultant room hearing the same words she had heard all them years ago “ you have cancer” but it was terminal. We could not come to terms with this news how can our Kate have terminal cancer when she looks so well? For the next two years she looked so well, from the outside world she looked healthy, only the people closest to her knew how she really was feeling. Soon she started to get breathless and her headaches started to increase and that’s when we found out that the cancer had spread in to her skull and the medication to slow the cancer down was not working. I remember going to see her and watching her struggle to even just move was unbearable to watch. She was fading right in front of our eyes and there was nothing we could do. I remember she got rushed in to hospital on the 23rd of October 2017 as her blood count was low and the blood transfusions she was was receiving was just not working. That’s when they realised she had cancer on the ovaries however they could not operate because her blood was so low. That’s when we knew our time with Katie was becoming limited. I remember asking Kate to come see her but she would only allow my mum and her mum to come as she wanted us kids to see her settled in a home. However I would never get that chance to say goodbye. On the 26th of October 2017 I was sitting at my desk at work processing invoices when my phone rang, it was my mum. She had asked me to go straight home and not to Kate’s house, I asked what was wrong and my mum said just come home but I knew In her voice something was wrong and I begged her to tell me and that’s when she told me that Kate had died. I just remember screaming and crying telling my mum that she was lying and begging her to tell me that she was just joking. In that moment my heart has shattered. I was Numb. The only bit of comfort I had was knowing my mum and her mum was right by her side telling her how much she was loved and how brave she was and that if she wanted to go that she could let go it was okay for her to go and she finally took her last breath being surrounded by people who loved her. I remember going to the chapel of rest to see her and I remember just sobbing my heart out begging her to wake up. I remember it like it was yesterday I just wanted to climb into the coffin and hug her and not let go. I didn’t want her being alone in that room. She didn’t belong there she belonged with us. That’s the thing with cancer it snatched everything away right in front of your eyes. That’s why I’m doing this challenge in hope I can make a little difference so that no one else has to go through what me and my family are still learning to deal with. 💖