You hear the statistics but you never think that they will be part of your story. While we were waiting for the results, I came to accept that it might be cancer seeing how ill Keith was and felt that if that was the case then realised that loads of people fight it and are cured and we would throw everything at it. But the diagnosis was followed very shortly by the terminal prognosis and no one and nothing can prepare you for that.
It's almost 4 years Keith and we're all trying so hard in our own ways to stay strong. Ellis your grandson is just the sweetest little boy. You could have taught him so much and our hearts ache that you never got to see him. Alex and Rachel continue to be the beautiful hard-working talented young people that you were so proud of, and me? The truth is I still feel so lost without you. I try to fill my days and I've achieved lots of different things over the last few years but it all feels so empty and sometimes even pointless.
It nearly broke me that there was nothing I could do to help you and there were times that I was so scared that I couldn't breathe.
So I've tried to channel my energy. I know you'd think I was mad for entering a half marathon considering that I absolutely hate running and I'm crap at it but I hope that wherever you are you'll be so proud that I've stuck to my training programme and that I will be doing this to help other people.
I will be thinking of you every step of the way - all 21kms of it - and when I cross the finish line the day before the anniversary of losing you I'm going to imagine you're there. x x
When I was growing up, 1 in 4 people were likely to develop cancer in their lives. Now it's 1 in 2. Please donate to my page today and help bring forward the day when all cancers are cured.